If you’ve spent any amount of time on queer social media, you know there’s a lot of gatekeeping. Lots of people struggling to define terms that are really in fact flexible — something that is at times liberating and at times frustrating. When your identities can seem invisible at times, that can lead to feeling isolated. For EVVAN, who is pansexual and non-binary, “I’m Not Done Yet” is a coming out anthem. In the video, EVVAN runs from those who would force her to conform. (EVVAN uses she/her pronouns.) As the song swells to a crescendo of certainty and confidence, the Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter’s world explodes with cover as she asserts all that is unique about her identity.
After performing under her given name, Evan Petruzzi, for several years, EVVAN found herself at a crossroads. “I was at a point in my life where I stopped and thought to myself, ‘What am I doing? Where am I going? I want to change things up.’” She found herself delving deeper into herself, pouring her heart and soul into her music like never before. “I wanted to be open and honest; I wanted to share the deepest parts of myself and truly overcome the hindrances I’ve had my whole life,” she says.
“This song stemmed from a yearning to come out and be who I truly am. It embodies the lack of acceptance and overall inclusivity in the world, primarily with the LGBTQ+ community,” EVVAN shares. “So many times in my life I’ve heard the exact phrases I wrote in the song from friends who’ve experienced the same, from people who I thought were friends and didn’t accept me, from absolute strangers on the street who noticed I was different… It is exhausting and while there are times I feel beaten down and without hope, I remember this is who I am and I should be proud of that. ‘I still carry it’ means I carry my true self, I still carry the pain and the burden, and ‘I’m not done’ fighting for that person and every person like me.”
“I’m really hoping it’ll reach the people who need to hear it most. I know I wish I had something like this when I was younger,” she says. “I put links to some websites in the description of the video for anyone who is struggling with their sexuality/gender identity.”
You can listen to “I’m Not Done Yet” on your favorite streaming service, and pre-save EVVAN’s upcoming EP Home here. It’ll be out on 4/30.