Born and raised in Iowa, Erik Timmons began playing guitar and writing songs as a teenager. But drug addiction and mental health crises led to a series of legal problems, psychiatric wards, and rehabs. Of his difficult teenage years, Erik says, “I was intoxicated whenever I wasn’t incarcerated. I played music all the time, but I couldn’t write an honest song to save my life. I wasn’t being honest with myself about my dependence on substances and untreated mental health issues. It wasn’t until I began dealing with those that I could write songs with any substance.”
After sobering up for good at the age of 19, Erik began a new life free from addiction. In his early twenties, Erik took college classes and traveled – first to study in London, then India, and Kenya. Timmons ultimately earned a PhD in Anthropology and a Fulbright scholarship, but fate had other plans.
In 2017, Erik’s life took a drastic change. His marriage of 10 years ended and his father was battling Alzheimer’s. So Erik left the academic world and returned to Iowa to be with his family, helping care for his father until he passed from the disease in 2021. During this time of personal upheaval, Erik decided to take his 20 years of writing and playing songs and began a different journey, making his love for music his primary focus, working to record and share that purpose with others. This produced his first true studio effort, the ten song album, Good Lord Willing.
Timmons’ new song “What Are You Still Doing Here?” encapsulates that pain and anguish. The tremor in his voice contrasts sharply with the surefooted guitars, whose cries belie the narrator’s own numbness. This Americana ballad does not pull punches, with devastating one-liners and impassioned musicianship.
What is the story behind this song? What made you write it?
I think it’s really just that old story of seeking that Other, looking for our person. Whatever the arrangements happen to be, I think it’s very human to feel this deep yearning for that kind of connection. It really all starts as a projection of our desire for that completeness we seek. Then when we actually start being in companionship with that other person, the projection starts eroding in the cold, hard reality of our human limitations. That’s where the pain comes into “love.” Love stops being a passive thing that happens to us, like we express in the phrase, “I fell in love,” and it starts becoming an active verb, more like, “I choose to love you with all my energy, just as you are.” This is probably one of the most difficult things we could ever do! We start negotiating about what we can give and what we expect from each other. It requires a deep level of honesty and vulnerability, which is very hard. I think that this song describes the pain and emotions when there is ambivalence in doing all that, when there’s not quite a full embrace of trying to love another, even when we think we want to. It can be heartbreaking, and I hope the song conveys some of that.
How did the song come together, musically and lyrically?
I think the biggest moment for this song, lyrically, came from simply changing the tense from past to present. I wrote the song and recorded the acoustic demo with the lyrics: “I said I love you, you just said I doubt it.” I sent the demos to some musicians I was hoping to work with on the project. One of them is David Hurlin, an amazing percussionist I had seen play with the fantastic Elizabeth Moen. David is also a soundscape wizard and published poet – just a cool person! He heard the demo and just made the comment that it would be more powerful if the tense changed to the present. So I tried singing, “I say I love you, you just say I doubt it.” It was perfect! I just love that! The funny thing is I’ve never met David, and we didn’t end up in the studio together for this song or the album. I would be shocked if he even remembers me, let alone commenting on the tense of the song. But nevertheless, I just think of the mysterious synchronicity of things like that and smile.
How does the final version match the vibe you imagined for this song? How is it similar or different?
I write and demo songs almost exclusively on acoustic guitar, so it’s always exciting to watch a song develop with other instruments and musicians adding their own take on the song. I have deep gratitude for all the great people who joined in the journey of making this album. But the vibe of “What Are You Still Doing Here” was really taken to another level when Vanessa Ellsbury joined to add vocals and lead guitar. Listeners can hear for themselves what Vanessa gave to the song, but on a personal note, it was such an important event to have Vanessa involved. We are friends and both musicians from Iowa, but more than that, I feel like Vanessa has just appeared at key junctures of my life. One time, I was in a really difficult emotional place, having just lost someone I loved very much, and it was the eve of her Celebration of Life. I was walking through downtown Ames on the verge of tears and passed by an alley, and there was Vanessa leaning up against a brick wall, almost just waiting for me. Vanessa looked at me with these deep brown eyes and hugged me, “I’m here for you, whatever you need, brother.” That’s the kind of person Vanessa is. So, when we got to travel to the studio together and make this song, it really meant a lot to me. It wasn’t just another musician playing on the track, it was more like some fellow traveler walking past this threshold with me. That’s what I hear most, when I listen to the song.
What do you hope that people who hear the song take from it?
Releasing a song or anything you’ve created into the world feels like shooting an arrow into darkness. You just hope it hits the mark, even though you don’t know where the mark even is! As a listener of music, I’ve always appreciated how a song finds me and speaks to me in the exact way I needed it to. I don’t really ever know what the song might be about, what people might take from it. I know what it’s meant for me, but the real hope is that it makes its way out to someone who can use it for whatever they might be going through. I think it’s even too much to hope for that I’d ever know if it did hit a mark with someone. It’s just an act of faith on my part that the song has a purpose for existing and really just letting it go!
How would you describe your music to people who haven’t heard it before?
I’d like to think that it rings true on some level, that it feels authentic. Because that’s really what’s important to me. Beyond that, I’d say my music is rooted somewhere in that huge unwieldy category called “Americana.” This album features pedal steel on a couple of tracks, which gives that twangy, country vibe I love. Some songs with the acoustic guitar are more like bluegrass or singer/songwriter material. Then there’s some harder driving rock, or at least my version of it! I had a friend once say she thought my music was kind of mellow, but aggressive at the same time. I still think about what that means, but it seems to fit, so I’ll own it.
Good Lord Willing will be out on September 9
How inspirational! I love Erik’s music and specially his lyrics.
Thanks for writing! I’ll make sure Erik sees it!
Erik’s music hits a mark with me, every song. Good interview!